by moonbearonmeth » 16 Mar 2019, 19:57
Words have never been my strong suit so bear with me because today I feel like sharing a story, the story of how I got to this point in FAF.
It all started back in ~2016 when a friend of mine recommended Supreme Commander to me, I ended up getting Supreme Commander 2 at the time because it was on sale, we had fun regardless but my friend insisted that Forged Alliance is better which I then bought a couple weeks later. We would play Steam FA together for a few weeks in the traditional Steam FA fashion of 1v1 Setons or 2v2 Setons with AI but I was always better at him at RTS (we're still talking like around 200 rated here) so he eventually lost interest in playing together after a monthish of consistently losing but hope was not all lost because the great machine-god of Google that listens in to every conversation decided that was the day it was going to sneak a Gyle cast into my Youtube recommendations.
I ended up watching a lot of Gyle's work, it was very entertaining at the time and it would lead me to installing FAF but that wasn't the important part, the important part was there was a recurring player in many of the casts, a name I would become very familiar with, that name being LewdGothicLoli. Watching this player had a very large impact on me, something about him be it the name, the way he played or the way he carried himself in chat clicked with me and made me feel something I had pretty much never felt before.
For seemingly the first time in my life I felt inspired, for the first time in my life I wanted to get better at something, for the first time in my life I wanted to improve. And so I started doing things I had never done before, I studied, I practiced, I rewatched replays, I watched tutorials, I took into considerations what players better than me actually fucking said. Did I become a pro? No, but sitting at ~1400 global and ~1200 ladder I would say if it weren't for this I likely would've ended up akin to FLOOD assuming I remained here at all.
But there was more to this than just gameplay. Over time, with the help of a few fluffy tails I eventually developed a friendship with this pro I held in such high regard which came to it's peak a year and a half ago when I was invited his clan where I still currently reside. All this did was inspire and motivate me more but now less to the game but more to the project itself. I wanted to contribute but with no technical experience to speak of I wouldn't say I was limited in what I could do but I had to get more creative so I tinkered with whatever I could. I made casts with a half assed focus on humour and short length (because honestly, who the f*** has time to watch a 2 hour epik dual gap cast when you could be playing your own epik 2 hour dual gap match instead), I hosted tourneys ranging from small get togethers to hosting the largest tournaments in the community (in everything but name), I made memes and conducted the funeral rites for one of my (other) favourite shitposters in the community. And I did this, This Week in Slack, around 70 entries over the span of 15 months and over 28000 views of trying to piece together what in the f*** is actually going on in this place because spite my own undiagnosed autism I still seem to have better communication skills than 80% of the code monkeys in this place.
Which brings us to now and what has prompted me to write all this. As of today (17 March 2019) it has been 10 days since three people very dear to me were exiled from FAF's Slack client under the decision of the moderation team, one of whom being exiled is Petricpwnz for claims they seem incapable of backing up, as well as threats against my own existence in the Slack, the message being quite clear that the developers would rather suffer under their own passive-aggressive snarkiness and bitch-fighting than to see a differing idea or thought in the open. But it is not the threats against myself that wound me so, they are nothing new, it is the removal of Petric. With Petric tossed aside, the reason I came here, stayed here and helped here, I find my motivation sapped, my reasons to give a shit at nil and my desire to stay here gone. So I will be moving on, this will be the last post I leave in this thread and I will be asking the moderators to lock this thread after I am done. If correct actions are taken the community might be able to retain Petric but as for me, I am gone.
Some parting words for everyone though, keep your eye peeled and your wits about you, time takes its toll on everything and even the sturdiest of pillars can turn to dust when you least expect it.
Maybe I'll come back in year as a player when my internet is better
Ask me about my amazing content production to watch while you wait in a lobby.