PRO PLAYER TIPS FOR : HANDLING THE FAF COMMUNITY
1K+ DIVISION THE WORST OF THE BUNCH
1. Don't do anything they wouldn't ever do except exactly what they think you should do.
2. Be Prepared to identify your rank if you are mere 900 when asked by anybody over 1k, even though it is conveniently found in the top right during the game and has been so for a long time. Since it bears absolutely no relevance to anything until you hit 1k at which point then anybody with that rank needs to hold onto it.
3. If you TYPE ANYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS You are a Godzilla destroying the cities inside their alphabetic brains and they cant comprehend once things go CAPITAL. Happens to 1k players since their brains are in their nuts and well when they trade their nuts in for their rating LOL well u know.
4. Never piss before the game because that is what the pause button is for. Always answer the door during the game and insist everybody else pause. You could be a GRAND PRIZE WINNER and retire forever don't want to miss that do ya?
5. Never check your router or modem to see if it has under gone isn't semi annual rebooting before playing the game because that might invite a smooth experience for your fellow players. In fact the shittier your connection the better. Why not connect to a game as an Aussie if its Germany USA Canada Brazil and Japan and Federated States of Micronesia all playing 81x81. Yeah great idea!
6. Never politely say yes or no in reply to a question in the game thats not what the chat is there for, chat communication can be intercepted after the game during replays and used against you. NEVER SAY ANYTHING AT ALL right? It is only there for 1k+ players asking the only question that matters see tip 2. (Special exception you are a fatass having a heart attack because all you do is be lonely and sad and play FAF all day of your life. Yes ask for help. See where it gets you. I can hear the Sierens of the ambulance coming right now.)
7 Never discuss strategy during the game this is a RTS. That means Get your ass working on a strategy because if you didn't come into the game with one then you are probably like the rest of the guys, just wingdining it. Coordinated strategies are mythological creatures called cheaters or hackers. What you do only if you cheat right? Nobody cheats on here do they LOLOLOL
8. Never try to win, the only reason to play is to bitch at lower ranked players in a drunken rage when you clearly have been beaten by an superior opposing force (possibly gravity) and slight them as a scapegoat. They usually don't fight back
9. Always try the cheapest tactic you know because it will never fail and the alternative is having the cheapest tactic used on you. If you didnt succeed its because you didnt play cheap enough. BE A CHEAPER BASTARD!
10. Never ever invite suggestions form anybody who is new. They are not new they are NOOOOOOOOOOB or NOOOB or DUMB you need a punch in the head NOOB. In order to get better they need to hear STFU noob alot more. What do you know boy? Nothing. STFU NOOB. More stuff like that get on it and speed their development into FAF's finest.
11. STUF NOOb is perfectly acceptable way to saying hey thanks for the great game. Have a lovely day
Here is where the community can pick it up since you guys are so pro at everything and know all have seen all. Please I implore you, I inist, I demand, I beg please please please lets hear your valuable insight. Please who will be the first to tear down mine today?
Have a cookie.Statistics: Posted by The Hoff — 30 May 2014, 00:28
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